Freelance, you know, the Latin term for terminally unemployed. That's me. Lately, the bills are out-pacing the gigs.
time to take my Howard Roarke tour of the Rock Quarry. But which quarry?
Realizing that my only marketable skill aside from the whole camera and lighting thing is making coffee, I got a job at a coffee chain...a big one.
I get a pound of coffee a week for free...i had to get that out of the way...
My first day was spent reading through a forest of dead trees compiled into bound works the likes of which I haven't seen since college. These great tomes included things like the 20 steps of cleaning the pastry cabinet, and the 16 steps to making whipped cream. At first I was a bit nervous, thinking that this actually might be akin to rocket science. I was quickly turned around when I realized that the manuals are written to the lowest common dominator, and that I wasn't crazy, or stupid and that this (as I suspected) is the farthest thing from rocket science. They were able to take the simple process of mixing a bag of powder into a pitcher of water and complicate it to a level I've never seen before. I read through the several chapters that I was required to complete and spent much of my 11 hours watching others work.
I did spend a few of those hours in front of a computer watching a presentation that was so mind numbing, I actually felt dumber after it was over. The photos that accompanied the presentation were horrendous! Some store manager with a new camera decided he was a photographer. His very liberal use of the flash and the awful exposure of some of these shots really made me cringe. It was so bad that I asked the manager if I could redo the presentation for them. I would, too...for free...to save the poor souls forced to sit through this nonsense. Do I really need to see photos of each of the 12 steps to cleaning and stowing a mop bucket? Is my life so sad that I have to sit through this at age 35?
(pause as I have one of those moments where I really start to examine my life...thanks to Bourbon, it won't last too long.)
One of the other folders of brochures and pamphlets includes a Tea Passport and a Coffee Passport. I am expected to conduct coffee and tea tastings. This is actually kind of cool and was the best part of the day. I had three coffees in different presspots and tasting cups. I was to pair each coffee with a pastry or food item. There is a pairing chart that says what coffees go with what, so it wasn't too difficult. I was told to take out of the pastry case whatever I wanted...
The Kenya AA went surprisingly well with the Lemon cake, red grapes (the most enlightening pairing by far)and an orange. The coupling with the grapes really brought out the citrus notes in the coffee and brought down the high end acid taste.
The Sumatra was paired with cheese. Brie, cheddar and a pesto jack. The cheese actually made this coffee tolerable to me, as the bolder dark coffees have not been kind to my aging stomach over the past couple of years.
Guatemalan Antigua was coupled with a chocolate espresso brownie. nice. The rich brownie really went well with the bold earthy flavor of this coffee. The apple also went nicely.
As I fill my coffee passport, I will be on my way to becoming a Coffee Master. I have to take a couple of classes to attain this title. I might stay just to get this title, and have business cards made:
Camera, Lighting, Coffee Master
time to take my Howard Roarke tour of the Rock Quarry. But which quarry?
Realizing that my only marketable skill aside from the whole camera and lighting thing is making coffee, I got a job at a coffee chain...a big one.
I get a pound of coffee a week for free...i had to get that out of the way...
My first day was spent reading through a forest of dead trees compiled into bound works the likes of which I haven't seen since college. These great tomes included things like the 20 steps of cleaning the pastry cabinet, and the 16 steps to making whipped cream. At first I was a bit nervous, thinking that this actually might be akin to rocket science. I was quickly turned around when I realized that the manuals are written to the lowest common dominator, and that I wasn't crazy, or stupid and that this (as I suspected) is the farthest thing from rocket science. They were able to take the simple process of mixing a bag of powder into a pitcher of water and complicate it to a level I've never seen before. I read through the several chapters that I was required to complete and spent much of my 11 hours watching others work.
I did spend a few of those hours in front of a computer watching a presentation that was so mind numbing, I actually felt dumber after it was over. The photos that accompanied the presentation were horrendous! Some store manager with a new camera decided he was a photographer. His very liberal use of the flash and the awful exposure of some of these shots really made me cringe. It was so bad that I asked the manager if I could redo the presentation for them. I would, too...for free...to save the poor souls forced to sit through this nonsense. Do I really need to see photos of each of the 12 steps to cleaning and stowing a mop bucket? Is my life so sad that I have to sit through this at age 35?
(pause as I have one of those moments where I really start to examine my life...thanks to Bourbon, it won't last too long.)
One of the other folders of brochures and pamphlets includes a Tea Passport and a Coffee Passport. I am expected to conduct coffee and tea tastings. This is actually kind of cool and was the best part of the day. I had three coffees in different presspots and tasting cups. I was to pair each coffee with a pastry or food item. There is a pairing chart that says what coffees go with what, so it wasn't too difficult. I was told to take out of the pastry case whatever I wanted...
The Kenya AA went surprisingly well with the Lemon cake, red grapes (the most enlightening pairing by far)and an orange. The coupling with the grapes really brought out the citrus notes in the coffee and brought down the high end acid taste.
The Sumatra was paired with cheese. Brie, cheddar and a pesto jack. The cheese actually made this coffee tolerable to me, as the bolder dark coffees have not been kind to my aging stomach over the past couple of years.
Guatemalan Antigua was coupled with a chocolate espresso brownie. nice. The rich brownie really went well with the bold earthy flavor of this coffee. The apple also went nicely.
As I fill my coffee passport, I will be on my way to becoming a Coffee Master. I have to take a couple of classes to attain this title. I might stay just to get this title, and have business cards made:
Camera, Lighting, Coffee Master
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